New Year's Resolutions

No one has ever accused me of being the most disciplined person in the world. And once or twice I have been called cynical. So to me, New Year's resolutions are pretty much a joke. The fact that I am writing a blog (which I have not written on in over two weeks) about New Year's resolutions on January 10th (almost the 11th) should support my case here. There were a few times when I came up with New Year's resolutions like "Try to read 4 books in a year". I think I read two Harry Potter books during the summer and then crammed two Dr. Seuss books on New Year's eve to hit my quota. Or I would make a resolution not to get road rage and then on January 3rd would pull within millimeters of a guy's bumper who just pulled out in front of me. My justification, of course, was that this particular person was a bumbling idiot that needed to learn a lesson thus this did not violate my resolution. The one resolution that I have never had to deal with is the whole weight thing. If I lost any weight, I would be transparent. My genes (both for good and bad) have kept me at just about the same weight as I was in high school. Don't hate me. Fitness is another story. I need oxygen just walking out to my car. I have tried a few times to join a gym and get in shape and get a little stronger. However, usually something good comes on TV and I'm done at the gym for 3 years. I wish I was joking.

So now that I am a few years older and a few years wiser, I am able to see what things would be good resolutions and how they will actually translate over the course of a year. Here is what I have come up with.

Watch less TV...................Watch less TV that doesn't have to do with sports, to compensate watch more sports

Join a gym................Spend money on gym membership and new shoes and then at commercial break, try and touch my toes

Go to bed earlier...................go to bed before musical guest on Conan comes on

Get up earlier......................get up later but set alarm earlier

Be a good first time dad......................don't make fun of son for pooping himself

Be a good husband.....................don't make fun of wife for being "hormonal"

Do a better job of cleaning up after self....................fold clothes before throwing them on the floor

Save money towards a house.......................play less of those claw games where you try and snag ugly crappy stuffed animals

Laugh more............................laugh more but try and laugh less at other peoples' expense

And finally,

Post on blog more often..............................actually that one I might try and keep.

See you next time - probably in a month or so.