Job - Volume 2 - An Awkward Conversation

I will never forget the night I came home from breaking off my engagement. I had gone over to Missy's house to tell her that my team had won the intramural volleyball championship for the first time in my five years (i had to sign on as an employee at Taylor to win the stupid thing). When I went to her room, the ring was sitting on her desk. Of course, this was a long time coming and I had a feeling it would happen but the shock of it was still gut-wrenching and as painful as anything I have ever felt. When I came home, the first person I saw was my friend Josh. I held up the ring and began to cry. He responded with the understatement of the century. "That's not good." We sat down and talked for a long time. I was at my lowest point. I was full of self-pity. I wanted someone to help me indulge in that self-pity. Josh, instead, decided to tell me where I struggle. Specifically, he told me that I compare myself with other people too much. He said that that it, in part, had killed my engagement. At the time, I wanted to rip his head off. But of course, he was right.

Sadly, I still compare myself with other people. Who has a better job. Who makes more money. Who has a nicer car. However, now, instead of allowing that to consume me. I fight it. I fight it because now I know what repurcussions can come from it. Josh pointed out something in me that was poisonous and his blunt thoughts, in the end, helped me down the road. I thought of that night when I read the second part of Job. Sadly, he didn't have a friend like Josh around then.

As I had talked about WAY back in 2006, Job had the worst day imaginable. He lost his property, his family and his health. Now, we come to the part where the people that are closest to him (who aren't dead) chip in their two cents. And I will tell you, if I were there, I would be scratching my head, looking at my watch, humming uncomfortably because wow, it was awkward. It is beautifully worded but awkward.

Job's wife starts out with some great advice. She says, "Curse God and die". Wow, honey thanks. Job tells her to go back to watching Lifetime (the channel for women).

Then Job's friends show up. At first, they do something that I think is very cool. They sit with him for SEVEN days and no one says a word because "they saw how great his suffering was". That to me seemed like a great picture of friendship. They were there for Job. They were supporting him. No one says anything.

Until Job speaks. Then the words came-a-flowing. Job starts in with cursing the day he is born and it goes downhill from there. It is very poetic at times hard to follow but he goes on and on about how it would have been better for him never to have been born. He wallows thoroughly for 26 verses. Then one of his friends chimes in. Then Job sulks for another two chapters. Then another friend chimes in.

Then it gets, um, interesting. It seems like the friends start to gang up on Job and he fights back. One asks Job when he is going to end his speeches. Another is disturbed because he feels like he is being rebuked. Job says that his friends words are crushing him and he is being "shamelessly" attacked. The last 6 chapters are from one friend who didn't join the conversation until no one else had anything to say. He was mad at everyone and just laid into them all.

What happened? These were supposed to be Job's friends. I think being abandoned by your closest friends, especially when you need them most is one of the most agonizing feelings a person can have. I know it is for me. By choice, I do not have a lot of people I consider friends. My friends are those that are closest to me. I don't enjoy having surfacy relationships with lots of people. I like having close connections with a select few. And if and when one of them is not there for me, it is a lost feeling.

Job, admittedly, was not at his best. He defined the word (or words) self-pity. He was not Mr. Happy. I don't think this is all on him. However, at your darkest, that is when a friend needs to step up. Comforting is important. Simply being there is important. But loving someone, not preaching to them like Job's friends did, is the most important thing.

I confess that I am not always there for my friends. I struggle most with the "being there" part. That may mean not physically being there when a friend is struggling - I assume someone could do a better job of helping that person than me so I stay home and watch TV. That may also mean (and I think this is worse) physically being with that person but checking out mentally. Saying things like, "yeah, that's tough" or "sorry about that" but simultaneously thinking about what is for dinner and how you can get out of the situation. You might as well not even be there. Sadly, I have done that more times than I can count.

Anyone can go to the movies with a friend. Anyone can talk about sports with a friend (except maybe Missy). But being there and loving someone when it is inconvenient, when it is not fun, when you would rather be anywhere else, THAT'S when true friendship shows up. I just hope I remember that the next time I am in the shoes of Job's friends.

Well, one last section of Job to go through and this is probably my favorite part. When everyone runs out of stuff to say, God steps in and Job gets the Holy smackdown.

Until then, thanks again for reading.........