Well, I figured I would wait two weeks to post again since that is probably how long it took everyone to read my Oscars diary. Sorry about that. Holy War and Peace!
Well, last Saturday I turned 30. I haven't really had too strong a feeling about turning 30 until recently. Actually until about 3:00 am on Saturday morning, I think. I woke up in pretty much a panic. Then I proceeded to wake up with the same feeling at 4, 5 and 6. It could have been the sushi I had the night before, it could have been the pending birth of our child, it could have been the realization that my 20's were just about over or it could have been a combination of all three. Either way I woke up feeling panicky. Only God knows why. I sure don't.
As I look back on my first 30 years, I have lived quite a life. I have been to 3 different continents, I have seen almost corner of this country, I have found the love of my life, I have made lifelong friends, I have felt both pain and joy that were beyond description and now I am standing on edge of the cliff called parenthood. However with each of those experiences, I experienced them through the lens of me, myself and I.
The thing that I have a hard time wrapping my mind around is the fact that other people care about me and see me in a positive way. The fact that people would take up part of their day to go go-karting with me and eat lunch with me; the fact that a decent number of people would get together, get me gifts and celebrate me (I think having free food there helped too but I will try not to think about that part); the fact that someone would drive 7+ hours round trip just to say happy birthday; the fact that someone would put together a photo montage on the computer that encompassed the moments of my life - the cute, embarrassing, momentous and downright awkward. As I reflected on the day, those things were tremendously humbling to me. It was at those moments that I realized that my life has had some meaning. It has had some impact. Since I exist only from the perspective of what I see from behind my two eyes, it is (and was) a moving experience to have people put so much effort and love into celebrating someone who I don't think deserves it - me.
All of that to say, thank you. To those of you who love me and call me friend and think that I am not a bad person to spend a part of your life with, whether it be 5 minutes for a talk about the Eagles or a lifetime til death do us part, thank you. Know that you have had an impact on a newly turned 30 year old.
So as I make my 31st trip around the sun and look back on my first 30, I hope that I can humble you and make a small part of your trip as beautiful and fulfilling as you have made mine.
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2 comments:
Ryry...people love you. You just have to learn to deal with it! :) (I know i know...it's harder than one might think.)
But seriously, it was fun celebrating you. I especially enjoyed scanning those old school pictures of you for the slideshow. Good times!
Ryan... 30 trips around the sun and still traveling... and there is no one I would rather be traveling with than you... you have brought me so much joy and I am a better person for being married to you and having you in my life. You never cease to amaze me... and I fall more in love with you with each passing day, month, year. And as we are standing on the verge of the world tilting a bit with our son entering the picture, I am thoroughly in awe of what God has done in and through us... and what He'll continue to do in our lives. Bub, we're going to be parents! And the joys will be more joyous (and probably the challenges more challenging), but I'm ready to continue the journey with you by my side. So who's ready for 30 more trips???
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