Some of you may be Will Ferrell fans, others may not. Sometimes I think he is hilarious. Other times, he is on the crass side. But I confess to own (and for the most part enjoy) his "Best of Will Ferrell" DVD from his days on Saturday Night Live. One of the sketches on there is called "Dissing Your Dog". Will Ferrell is in this commercial trying to sell a pet training video. Basically what he does is talk to his pet in a sarcastic way to try and change the dog's behavior. For example, if the dog is up on the couch, he says, "Oh no Humphrey, don't get up. Just stay there and relax. After all, you're the one who put in a long day of work at a demanding, high stress job. Oh wait, that's me. You laid around all day in a pool of your own slobber." The idea was that the dog would get the hint and jump off the couch. The best part was to see the look on these clueless dogs' faces as they were kind of put in their place. And while it may be a very crude comparison, this skit (and specifically the tone of Will Ferrell's character) stuck in my head when I read this third and final part of Job.
To recap, Job has the worst day ever. Everything that could go wrong does. His friends come and they sit with him for a while and then Job starts to complain and complain and then he complains some more. Then his friends chime in and kind of attack him and don't really support him. They sort of go back and forth and then........and I love this transition.......the beginning of Chapter 38 is titled........The Lord Speaks. I can just see it. God is listening in to this whole conversation, shaking his head at what everyone is saying. He can tell that they are all just wasting their breath, just rambling endlessly.
Then, there is a break in the conversation. A pause. They have probably all just worn themselves out from talking. God rolls up his sleeves and just unleashes an unbelievable sarcastic line of questioning that would pretty much put any human in their place. He even prefaces it with, "Brace yourself like a man; I will question you and you will answer me."
Here are just a sample of the questions he asks:
Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation?
Have you ever given orders to the morning or shown the dawn its place?
Have you entered the storehouses of the snow or seen the storehouses of the hail?
Do you give the horse its strength and clothe his neck with a flowing mane?
I mean, how are you supposed to answer that??? At the beginning of Chapter 40, God pauses and let's Job respond and he does as any of us would - "I put my hand over my mouth. I spoke once, but I have no answer - twice, but I will say no more" This is the worst case of foot in mouth in history. When God calls you out, you're done.
God goes on for another chapter and a half. Finally, when He more than proves his point, Job (who is probably looking for a rock to crawl under at this point) closes the conversation with a great line. "My ears have heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes."
I love this section of Job. Yes, I like the fact that God has a sarcastic side. However, for me, it just helps me put into perspective who is in control. I lose way too much sleep over things I have no control of. I could push and push and build up a great life for myself and then one day a plane flies into the side of my building. Or I feel a lump on my back. Or a kid comes into my son's school with a bag full of guns. The point to me is summarized by Job's line way back in chapter 1 - "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." Lesson to learn from Job - quit while you're ahead.
Interestingly, there is an epilogue to this book. It is kind of like after a movie is over, the screen goes black and there is a paragraph or two to tells what happens AFTER the story is over.
God confronts Job's friends and calls them out as well. He asks Job to pray for them which he does - would YOU say no to God at this point???? And then,
"The Lord made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before......the Lord blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first.......he had seven sons and three daughters.....after this, Job lived a hundred and forty years (less trans fat and smog in those days), he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation. And so he died, old and full of years."
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Job - Volume 2 - An Awkward Conversation
I will never forget the night I came home from breaking off my engagement. I had gone over to Missy's house to tell her that my team had won the intramural volleyball championship for the first time in my five years (i had to sign on as an employee at Taylor to win the stupid thing). When I went to her room, the ring was sitting on her desk. Of course, this was a long time coming and I had a feeling it would happen but the shock of it was still gut-wrenching and as painful as anything I have ever felt. When I came home, the first person I saw was my friend Josh. I held up the ring and began to cry. He responded with the understatement of the century. "That's not good." We sat down and talked for a long time. I was at my lowest point. I was full of self-pity. I wanted someone to help me indulge in that self-pity. Josh, instead, decided to tell me where I struggle. Specifically, he told me that I compare myself with other people too much. He said that that it, in part, had killed my engagement. At the time, I wanted to rip his head off. But of course, he was right.
Sadly, I still compare myself with other people. Who has a better job. Who makes more money. Who has a nicer car. However, now, instead of allowing that to consume me. I fight it. I fight it because now I know what repurcussions can come from it. Josh pointed out something in me that was poisonous and his blunt thoughts, in the end, helped me down the road. I thought of that night when I read the second part of Job. Sadly, he didn't have a friend like Josh around then.
As I had talked about WAY back in 2006, Job had the worst day imaginable. He lost his property, his family and his health. Now, we come to the part where the people that are closest to him (who aren't dead) chip in their two cents. And I will tell you, if I were there, I would be scratching my head, looking at my watch, humming uncomfortably because wow, it was awkward. It is beautifully worded but awkward.
Job's wife starts out with some great advice. She says, "Curse God and die". Wow, honey thanks. Job tells her to go back to watching Lifetime (the channel for women).
Then Job's friends show up. At first, they do something that I think is very cool. They sit with him for SEVEN days and no one says a word because "they saw how great his suffering was". That to me seemed like a great picture of friendship. They were there for Job. They were supporting him. No one says anything.
Until Job speaks. Then the words came-a-flowing. Job starts in with cursing the day he is born and it goes downhill from there. It is very poetic at times hard to follow but he goes on and on about how it would have been better for him never to have been born. He wallows thoroughly for 26 verses. Then one of his friends chimes in. Then Job sulks for another two chapters. Then another friend chimes in.
Then it gets, um, interesting. It seems like the friends start to gang up on Job and he fights back. One asks Job when he is going to end his speeches. Another is disturbed because he feels like he is being rebuked. Job says that his friends words are crushing him and he is being "shamelessly" attacked. The last 6 chapters are from one friend who didn't join the conversation until no one else had anything to say. He was mad at everyone and just laid into them all.
What happened? These were supposed to be Job's friends. I think being abandoned by your closest friends, especially when you need them most is one of the most agonizing feelings a person can have. I know it is for me. By choice, I do not have a lot of people I consider friends. My friends are those that are closest to me. I don't enjoy having surfacy relationships with lots of people. I like having close connections with a select few. And if and when one of them is not there for me, it is a lost feeling.
Job, admittedly, was not at his best. He defined the word (or words) self-pity. He was not Mr. Happy. I don't think this is all on him. However, at your darkest, that is when a friend needs to step up. Comforting is important. Simply being there is important. But loving someone, not preaching to them like Job's friends did, is the most important thing.
I confess that I am not always there for my friends. I struggle most with the "being there" part. That may mean not physically being there when a friend is struggling - I assume someone could do a better job of helping that person than me so I stay home and watch TV. That may also mean (and I think this is worse) physically being with that person but checking out mentally. Saying things like, "yeah, that's tough" or "sorry about that" but simultaneously thinking about what is for dinner and how you can get out of the situation. You might as well not even be there. Sadly, I have done that more times than I can count.
Anyone can go to the movies with a friend. Anyone can talk about sports with a friend (except maybe Missy). But being there and loving someone when it is inconvenient, when it is not fun, when you would rather be anywhere else, THAT'S when true friendship shows up. I just hope I remember that the next time I am in the shoes of Job's friends.
Well, one last section of Job to go through and this is probably my favorite part. When everyone runs out of stuff to say, God steps in and Job gets the Holy smackdown.
Until then, thanks again for reading.........
Sadly, I still compare myself with other people. Who has a better job. Who makes more money. Who has a nicer car. However, now, instead of allowing that to consume me. I fight it. I fight it because now I know what repurcussions can come from it. Josh pointed out something in me that was poisonous and his blunt thoughts, in the end, helped me down the road. I thought of that night when I read the second part of Job. Sadly, he didn't have a friend like Josh around then.
As I had talked about WAY back in 2006, Job had the worst day imaginable. He lost his property, his family and his health. Now, we come to the part where the people that are closest to him (who aren't dead) chip in their two cents. And I will tell you, if I were there, I would be scratching my head, looking at my watch, humming uncomfortably because wow, it was awkward. It is beautifully worded but awkward.
Job's wife starts out with some great advice. She says, "Curse God and die". Wow, honey thanks. Job tells her to go back to watching Lifetime (the channel for women).
Then Job's friends show up. At first, they do something that I think is very cool. They sit with him for SEVEN days and no one says a word because "they saw how great his suffering was". That to me seemed like a great picture of friendship. They were there for Job. They were supporting him. No one says anything.
Until Job speaks. Then the words came-a-flowing. Job starts in with cursing the day he is born and it goes downhill from there. It is very poetic at times hard to follow but he goes on and on about how it would have been better for him never to have been born. He wallows thoroughly for 26 verses. Then one of his friends chimes in. Then Job sulks for another two chapters. Then another friend chimes in.
Then it gets, um, interesting. It seems like the friends start to gang up on Job and he fights back. One asks Job when he is going to end his speeches. Another is disturbed because he feels like he is being rebuked. Job says that his friends words are crushing him and he is being "shamelessly" attacked. The last 6 chapters are from one friend who didn't join the conversation until no one else had anything to say. He was mad at everyone and just laid into them all.
What happened? These were supposed to be Job's friends. I think being abandoned by your closest friends, especially when you need them most is one of the most agonizing feelings a person can have. I know it is for me. By choice, I do not have a lot of people I consider friends. My friends are those that are closest to me. I don't enjoy having surfacy relationships with lots of people. I like having close connections with a select few. And if and when one of them is not there for me, it is a lost feeling.
Job, admittedly, was not at his best. He defined the word (or words) self-pity. He was not Mr. Happy. I don't think this is all on him. However, at your darkest, that is when a friend needs to step up. Comforting is important. Simply being there is important. But loving someone, not preaching to them like Job's friends did, is the most important thing.
I confess that I am not always there for my friends. I struggle most with the "being there" part. That may mean not physically being there when a friend is struggling - I assume someone could do a better job of helping that person than me so I stay home and watch TV. That may also mean (and I think this is worse) physically being with that person but checking out mentally. Saying things like, "yeah, that's tough" or "sorry about that" but simultaneously thinking about what is for dinner and how you can get out of the situation. You might as well not even be there. Sadly, I have done that more times than I can count.
Anyone can go to the movies with a friend. Anyone can talk about sports with a friend (except maybe Missy). But being there and loving someone when it is inconvenient, when it is not fun, when you would rather be anywhere else, THAT'S when true friendship shows up. I just hope I remember that the next time I am in the shoes of Job's friends.
Well, one last section of Job to go through and this is probably my favorite part. When everyone runs out of stuff to say, God steps in and Job gets the Holy smackdown.
Until then, thanks again for reading.........
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
New Year's Resolutions
No one has ever accused me of being the most disciplined person in the world. And once or twice I have been called cynical. So to me, New Year's resolutions are pretty much a joke. The fact that I am writing a blog (which I have not written on in over two weeks) about New Year's resolutions on January 10th (almost the 11th) should support my case here. There were a few times when I came up with New Year's resolutions like "Try to read 4 books in a year". I think I read two Harry Potter books during the summer and then crammed two Dr. Seuss books on New Year's eve to hit my quota. Or I would make a resolution not to get road rage and then on January 3rd would pull within millimeters of a guy's bumper who just pulled out in front of me. My justification, of course, was that this particular person was a bumbling idiot that needed to learn a lesson thus this did not violate my resolution. The one resolution that I have never had to deal with is the whole weight thing. If I lost any weight, I would be transparent. My genes (both for good and bad) have kept me at just about the same weight as I was in high school. Don't hate me. Fitness is another story. I need oxygen just walking out to my car. I have tried a few times to join a gym and get in shape and get a little stronger. However, usually something good comes on TV and I'm done at the gym for 3 years. I wish I was joking.
So now that I am a few years older and a few years wiser, I am able to see what things would be good resolutions and how they will actually translate over the course of a year. Here is what I have come up with.
Watch less TV...................Watch less TV that doesn't have to do with sports, to compensate watch more sports
Join a gym................Spend money on gym membership and new shoes and then at commercial break, try and touch my toes
Go to bed earlier...................go to bed before musical guest on Conan comes on
Get up earlier......................get up later but set alarm earlier
Be a good first time dad......................don't make fun of son for pooping himself
Be a good husband.....................don't make fun of wife for being "hormonal"
Do a better job of cleaning up after self....................fold clothes before throwing them on the floor
Save money towards a house.......................play less of those claw games where you try and snag ugly crappy stuffed animals
Laugh more............................laugh more but try and laugh less at other peoples' expense
And finally,
Post on blog more often..............................actually that one I might try and keep.
See you next time - probably in a month or so.
So now that I am a few years older and a few years wiser, I am able to see what things would be good resolutions and how they will actually translate over the course of a year. Here is what I have come up with.
Watch less TV...................Watch less TV that doesn't have to do with sports, to compensate watch more sports
Join a gym................Spend money on gym membership and new shoes and then at commercial break, try and touch my toes
Go to bed earlier...................go to bed before musical guest on Conan comes on
Get up earlier......................get up later but set alarm earlier
Be a good first time dad......................don't make fun of son for pooping himself
Be a good husband.....................don't make fun of wife for being "hormonal"
Do a better job of cleaning up after self....................fold clothes before throwing them on the floor
Save money towards a house.......................play less of those claw games where you try and snag ugly crappy stuffed animals
Laugh more............................laugh more but try and laugh less at other peoples' expense
And finally,
Post on blog more often..............................actually that one I might try and keep.
See you next time - probably in a month or so.
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