Observations of a Playground Parent

Since becoming a parent, I have become much more aware of how others parent their children. Before I was a father, I would only really notice the parent of the kid who was screaming in the store. I would instantly think that person was a terrible parent and the child was destined to a life of doing 10-20 for holding up liquor stores. Now, I am a little more "enlightened" and realize EVERY parent will go through that at some point. The screaming child, I mean. Hopefully not the felon child.

One place, I have really noticed a difference in parenting styles is on the playground. Now that the weather is finally getting nicer, we have had the opportunity to come out of our cave and go to one of several parks in our area - most within walking distance. The time I personally have been able to take the most advantage of this is on the Saturdays that Missy works. While, it is not fun to have Missy work on a Saturday or two a month, it has given Riley and I the chance to have some great father/son time. And typically our father/son time ends up at a local park.

We went to one pretty large park a few weeks ago and here I observed several different parents interacting with their child in a number of different ways. Here is how I would classify them:

1. The Doomsday Parent - This is the parent who watches their child from a distance and only communicates with them through predictions of unspeakable danger.

"Timmy, get off of there! You are going to break your neck!"

2. The MIA Parent - This is the one who is there but not really. They are talking to friends or reading or flirting or asleep or something. All the while their child is standing next to Timmy on top of the two story playground equipment getting ready to cannonball off the side.

3. The Cell Phone Parent - The cell phone parent could also be called the life story parent. This is the person who is on their cell phone while their child plays and is usually talking to someone so loudly that you can hear their life story. My guess is that is probably their intention but I don't know why.

"I can't believe she would do that to you! I know! I have never liked her. I don't even know why she still HAS a job." Or.....

"I have had the WORST stomach issues! We had Chinese last night and I was in the bathroom for 45 minutes! I should go to the doctor but I might have to get an enema."

Now the cell phone parent can easily combine with both of the first two. They can be so engrossed in a conversation on the cell phone that they missed seeing their child get TKO'd while walking in front of another kid on a swing. Or the Life Story parent:
"I need to see a specialist about my foot. This bunion is......NO NO NO NO NO! Get out of there! You will get your head cut off!"

Now the last parent type I see at that playground and the one I try and be, when I am not telling others about my bunions is...

4. The Interactive Parent. This is the one who actually plays with their child at the playground. They go down the slides with them. They swing on the swings with them. They get stuck in tunnels (like I do pretty much every time) with them. They are usually sweating. There will come a day when Riley will not think it is the greatest thing in the world that his parents will play with him. But until that day comes, I am going to run around, get stuck and sweat for him.

If you can think of any other parent types, I would love to hear them.

Now get away from there! You could contract the plague!