Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Riley is going through, let's call it, an interesting stage. He is certainly more interactive. He is starting to smile which is awesome. He makes cute sounds. He looks at us. He looks FOR us. But he also freaks. Alot. He cries to the point where he has no air left to push out and he just sits there with a red contorted face, mouth open and nothing coming out. Then he catches his breath and winds up again. The amazing thing is that these two sides of him crash together within seconds of each other. You can watch as the transformation happens. His smile melts into the face of fury in a matter of moments. And then we are in for an extended period of shushing, swaddling, swaying and the other two S's that I don't remember - I think they are Swearing and Screaming. That transformation has led me to my summarization (thus far) of parenting. It just came to me after one of his episodes:

Parenting is a minute of bliss and an hour of misery with a second of rest.

I have found parenting to be the most humbling, maddening, selfless thing I have ever done. And I am a selfish person. When I got married, I knew that I was going to give some things up. I was going to sacrifice. However even in that, I could be selfish. It was called "compromising" or "negotiating".

Ryan: Missy, can I go golfing?
Missy: Only if I can get a new purse.
Ryan: Done.

(Later that day)

Ryan: Missy, can I go fishing?
Missy: Only if I can get blonde highlights.
Ryan: See you in two hours.

It has worked beautifully for the past (almost) four years. However, with parenting, there is no negotiation. There is no compromise. There is no reasoning. You can't promise to do something in exchange for this child to stop screaming. If so, I would have promised to be a junior high cheerleading coach (my idea of the fourth stage of hell) if he would just stop crying. But it doesn't work that way. He cries. You spend hours calming him down. Then the phone rings or a car drives by or a fly runs into the window and the scream returns. Begging, pleading, cajoling, offering every penny in your bank account - it doesn't work - believe me I've tried. You just have to take it. With a calm smile on your face. Because if you don't, Mr. Hyde will emerge and you won't remember what Dr. Jekyl looked like.

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde