No one will ever accuse me of writing too often on this thing.

So, about 2 1/2 months ago, I found out that I was going to be a dad. Missy and I had an idea that she might be PG but we hadn't officially taken the test. We had been "trying" for a couple of months - sidebar - why don't more people snicker when you mention that you are trying. Whenever you hear the word "sex", you giggle like a little junior high kid. "Trying" is just admitting that you are doing more of that. Maybe people are just more mature than me. Sorry mom if you are reading this.

Anyway, just before we took the test, I had one of my patent I'm-going-to-throw-up moments. I mean, me, a dad. My only reference to a dad was (and is) my dad. And I always thought my parents were pros right from the start. I mean I turned out ok (other than that shooting spree in '97 but the appeal is still in the courts so I haven't been convicted yet....) so they must have been experts. But me. I mean, I still play video games and crack up when someone farts. I couldn't be a dad. But at this point, it was too late. The die had been cast, so to speak.

So, anyway, Missy took the test. I didn't have my glasses on and so she was just kind of blur from where I was. However, despite my blindness, I could see her excited smile and head nodding. From that moment, I felt a joy that I cannot explain. Me a dad. That is just ridiculous. That is proof that God has a sense of humor. I know that He is going to look down and die laughing as I try and change a diaper.

Since we found out the news and more specifically when people started to find out, I have said "thank you" more often than I can remember. I would not have predicted this but the question that almost always immediately follows the "congratulations" is "are you going to find out the sex of the baby?" I don't know why people feel an obligation to ask that. I guess because that is the next step after finding out you are pregnant. And usually the answer to that question is followed by a personal story that makes the answer wrong. For example, I can't remember how many times I have had this scenario:

Person A: So are you going to find out what the sex of the baby is?
Me: Yes, I think we are going to find out.
Person A: Oh, Bill and I decided to wait. We wanted to be surprised. That was the best decision we ever made!
Me: Yes, well, my wife and I decided we would like to find out so we can pick a name and register and.....
Person A: Well, my sister was told that she was going to boy and she had three girls!
Me: That's great, I'm going to go through myself through a plate glass window now. Thank you.

Well, maybe there was a little exaggeration in there but you get the idea.

The other response that I have gotten since finding out that we are expecting is the tagline "Oh Ryan, you'll find out all about that soon enough!" That line is usually preceded by something terrible. Another example:

Person B: "Last night, my son set fire to our dog and then threw up into the back our new TV! Oh Ryan, you'll find out all about that soon enough!"
Me: (nervous smile as a I once again excuse myself to the bathroom)

So despite all of this, we are still super excited about having a child. Just knowing that another human being will come into this earth and experience its first everything - breath, word, step, projectile vomit into electronic equipment and I will be there to experience it with them. That is a truly incredible and humbling thought.

So, world, you have been warned. Another sarcastic smart alec who is way too devoted to the Philadelphia Eagles will join this world in March of 2006. I can't wait.